Friendships

4-21-2008

Today I wanted to share this article I wrote for our newsletter in February.

Friendships

I know so many people that don’t know the first step in making life-long friends. This is critical! It is not only important from a business perspective to have friends from past jobs that can recommend you but also from a quality of life! The support you gain from a group of trusted friends is priceless. If you don’t have anyone you call a good friend and want one…here’s how!

1. Find a group of people with similar interests – such as a church group, sports group, art group, work group, networking group.


2. Do some large group activities and find people within the group that you enjoy being around.


3. Make sure you do more listening than talking. Ask questions about your potential friends that are non-controversial such as where they grew up or what they do for a living. Find out others’ hobbies and interests. Get them talking about themselves and find common ground. Don’t spend too much time in monologue. Make sure it is conversation and that it is not all about you.


4. Ask the people with whom you want to develop a friendship to do something on a smaller level – such as go out to lunch or a cup of coffee together.


5. Plan an event! This can be for as few as one other person or a small group. Find something that you would all enjoy doing – such as going to a game, the spa, art show, car show or movie. Make sure you plan time for interaction with your new friends! Start out with smaller events and then build up to major events – like a weeklong trip. Here are some ideas to get you started:
   * Keep up with what is happening in your area. – Research the news and online sites such as cityguide.aol.com, local.yahoo.com, http://www.weather.com/, http://www.ticketmaster.com/.
   * Is there something you have been wanting to learn? – Find a fun-ed type class to take with friends!
   * Is there something you have never tried that you think may be interesting – skydiving, SCUBA, Greek food, Sushi, scrap booking, flea markets –try it with a friend!


6. Make yourself available. Friends want to be able to call you up to talk or have someone go to go with on an outing. If you already have plans make sure they know that you do want to get together with them and try to plan another time.


7. The old saying is true – in order to have a friend you must be a friend. Make sure you treat your friends with respect and kindness. Do not take friendship for granted.


8. Any relationship in life that is successful involves give and take. Try to find ways to encourage and do nice things for your friends.


9. Make sure that you make a positive vs. negative addition to a friend’s life.
   

In no time you will find yourself surrounded by friends!